High School King

I just got labeled Oprah for my way of thinking.

So I've just been thinking about bullies. This is something I haven't had much hands-on experience with, ever, really. I was always a bit of a loser until I got to VCE, but nobody ever bothered to attack me that severely, verbally or physically. Apparently, I am acceptable. Which is surprising given my sexuality, but whatever.

You know in the movies (or maybe in your own life, depending on how boring you really are) when the 10-year-old kid gets home from school with bruises, and his maw-maw says something optimistic like "bullies are just cowards!" or "they're just jealous." Well, after careful deliberation, I've kind of made sense of these obvious products of maternal denial and deduced that there is, in fact, some truth to them.

Against my initial better judgment, I now agree - bullies ARE cowards. The blatant roadblock here is the notion that bullies can't logically be cowards if they go around, risking detention, beating the crap out of kids who are too timid to fight back. Nobody who risks detention could possibly be a coward, right! Wrong. Risking detention ain't what it's all about. The point of bullying boils down to a simple premise: asserting oneself. Arrogantly, at that.

Who needs to assert themselves to a bunch of people who don't like you/are afraid of you? Answer: low self-esteem. You feel so bad about yourself that you turn to bullying to give yourself some worth, because with bullying, you can be king. Now kids, children like these are cowards for the very reason that they can't accept themselves for who they are. People like this are weak and insecure, and they're jealous of the life you have that they don't. But because of this god complex every child under the age of 15 seems to have nowadays, they have a hard time distinguishing between compliments and insults (I blame Facebook. I just do) and regardless, whenever they feel threatened, they attack. Even if you're not threatening them.


Example. Some kid at my school posted a status on Facebook earlier, something along the lines of "me and this guy and that guy have poured our blood, sweat and tears into this." Tactless as I am, though I'd be whimsical and comment "You can get AIDS that way." Now I ask you, is that insulting? No, but it is a little rude, I guess. But like a 16 year old boy is going to care if I politically-incorrectly mention AIDS on his Facebook profile.
He then promptly thought of my message as being a threat, even though it was merely a conversation starter. "Says you" he says, indicating I would be all-knowing about AIDS cos I'm gay, attacking me. He then, cowardly, deleted both posts, hiding from the version of himself in which he could be unacceptable in the eyes of his mates.

Lord knows I hate kids like this. Like, if someone mentions something to you with a shred of negativity in it (cos come on, AIDS ain't a positive thing), it's not a just reason to attack them. Man up and face to yourself that you are a coward, and probably jealous of my ability to start a conversation freely with someone I barely know. I'm sorry - I'm different, so I must be ridiculed. Not that I'm insulted; I just pity the dickhead.

I Am Roz Doyle

So, three exams down, two to go. It's currently the end of the exam-filled roster week in which I had zero exams. ZERO. My last two are on the same day (what's up with that?) on Monday. So yeah, I'll be at school from about 11:30 to 5:30. That's the duration of an entire day of school. I guess it'll be like my final goodbye or something? As if spending 6 hours there is somehow an homage to my old school days? Oh, listen to me jabber "old school days" as if I've been free for years!

Regardless, the Friday after said Monday, which is incidentally one week away from today's Friday, is the school formal. Sure, whatever, that's enough said about that. But then the week after is schoolies! I'll be heading down to Wilson's Prom to chill at the beach for four days with ten of the greatest guys I know. I'm really, really looking forward to it.

Good stuff aside, it's time for the obligatory "bad stuff" section of the blog: still stressing about next year. yeah, it's tiresome, but I pretty much freaked out the other day cos pre-selection kits and stuff were due and I was divided between doing kits for courses I'm not super excited for and not doing them at all in the hopes that what I really want to do will come along. As I have stated in earlier ramblings, I expect some sort of poignant sign that will expose next year's intentions right to my face. "No, it doesn't work that easily!" I hear you say.

But last night I went to the Melbourne Radio School with my hip-cat daddy-o for some open evening they were having. And I must say, ever since I got obsessed with Frasier, I always wanted to produce radio, until I kinda forgot about it, somehow assuming in the back of my mind that to make it in radio you have to live in Seattle. Last night just brought it all back and I thought to myself, "hey, I could do this for a living!" Apparently the pay is fairly decent and it's a very fun job to have, which I don't doubt. Now then, the question is, do I attempt to do a course there and get into a job producing radio? The major problem is: everyone who wants to work in radio has to move to some freakin' deserted regional city to get any exposure, something I haven't the slightest intention of ever doing.



So, here we are, back at the start. Still nothing.
Oh, also, I DIDN'T create those pre-selection kits. Bah! A pox on organization!

Study "Break"

I realize that this time right now could be better utilized by school work, since my exams start on the first of November. Quite frankly, the only subject I've FULLY studied for is Maths, just because it's easy to study for, answering multiple-choice questions and all that. Yet, ironically, it's apparently the subject I'm doing worst in although I feel fairly confident in it. Even did a trial exam for Philosophy last week and didn't do too badly on that! Surprising, I know!

Oh, listen to me talk as if you have the slightest idea what my levels of knowledge are for any subjects that I take. Literature is becoming increasingly scary as the exam draws nearer, and I'm almost positive that all the exam markers up at VCAA are dried-up old lesbians. Hell, the entire class thinks so, even the teacher. The markers are indeed pretty sad to know all 90 texts back to front.

Still, I don't feel the need to study all that much for Media. I've only lost 4 marks on the SACs across the year (oh shucks!) and I hope I dominate the exam in turn. This reflection makes me harken back to my initial "internal division" (curse you, Literature!) as to what I'm going to do next year. I went out to brunch(?) with a mate this morning, and he was asking me what 2011 will bring. I said I want to do nothing. It's been a while since I've admitted that to myself - what with the recent slew of VTAC applications and Uni open days and all, I've been manipulated into thinking I don't have to do anything next year. It was only today that I remembered, 'wait! No I don't! I can do anything I want!'

So suck it, anti-autonomous units. 2011 is my year, I say! I've only been out of school for two days and I'm already feeling like it's completely over!

On that note, so long, class of 2010. I'll miss each and every one of you.

You see, Barbie is a constructed representation.

The school play went great, thanks for asking. Being Elvis is rewarding in the pool of mega-babes department.

So now that it is the start of September, things are rolling into gear. Three more months and I'm done with... everything. In the last week of November, it's the formal. Then after that is the presentation night. And that's it. I'm done. Gone. Goodbye Bayside. I'm going to miss you.

Whatever emotions I'm going to feel late-November are not at all like the ones I am experiencing right now. It's the pre-November feelings, the encumbering, yet frightful feeling of OHMYGOTHIAMSOSTRESSEDOUTRIGHTNOWABOUTPRETTYMUCHANYTHING. Am I over-reacting to everything that's happening to me right now? Or is it that my life IS actually changing to be more dramatic?

Now there are some things going on with myself, with others, between myself and others; things I can discuss freely and things I don't want to write on the internet for fear of who'll read it.
Surprisingly, school is easing up a bit. Cos everything is slowing down before exams begin. SACs are ending, hopefully, and my personal life is instead taking the front seat. When the hell did this happen? I haven't been able to focus on myself since January!


What scares me the most is what I'm going to do come 2011. Am I gonna move out? Am I gonna go to Uni? TAFE? Gap year? Who am I going to keep in contact with? How the fuck am I meant to get my licence with all the shit rules that Vicroads have invented? Is my health going to deteriorate and should I be doing something about it (I eat nothing but junk. Have been for eighteen years)?
Why do I feel so socially inept outside of school? Why do I have to tell people exactly what I think about them? Why am I so gosh darn tactless? Also, where did my moral compass go? I've totally lost it and it depresses me to no end.

I would still, on the whole, like to end my life. But the mere fact that I'm stating this publicly proves that I'm not willing to do it and I want help. Psychologically speaking, this is an SOS. If I really wanted to do it, it'd be done by now.
But since that's not gonna happen, I'll stay in my emotional limbo for now where headaches are perpetual and my bed sheets don't change, and wallow.

Perhaps next year I'll just not do anything and sit in my room watching 30 Rock till I die of natural causes.

Last Minute

Why do I keep listening to Kylie Minogue classics this afternoon? I've got Fever written all over me.

I've noticed an alarming trend surrounding me lately. Everybody who is similarly-aged to myself is suddenly snapping into preparation mode: everyone's got 2011 figured out except me. I mean, what the hell am I going to do once I finish year twelve? My guess is sitting around watching Sabrina DVDs and working at Dick Smith until suicide knocks on my door. I mean, ideally, that would be my final choice, but considering I don't really have any plans, I can see that hypothetical scenario becoming a firm and steady reality.

Career? Not a clue. House? Need funds. Employment? We'll see.
I'm going to be eighteen in just over two months now, which frightens me a tad. But of course, I'm also very excited for the new opportunities that arise. I don't like the idea of sorting out my entire future before I'm eighteen. I could manage to get away with it, ALMOST, but VTAC applications close two days before my birthday. Perfect.

For months now I've been kinda hoping that an exciting career possibility will just jump out at me when I'm not really searching for one. That way I'll know it's actually something I'm pumped for, rather than just looking through job guides, saying "that'll do" to myself and applying because I have nothing better. If I'm not taking a course in something that genuinely excites me, then what is the point of doing it? I should probably start listening to others' advice, as I've been constantly hearing "it doesn't work like that" - I'll believe that when I see it. But it'll totally be too late by then. I'm a very last minute sort of person.

100 / 101 - ?

What the hell, Blogspot?
I was really looking forward to my 100th post cos I had been on 99 for a while. I was gonna make my 100th a good one.
Then out of the blue, you decide to bump up my post count by 1 without me even posting anything? AND it hasn't gone away, either. So there goes my milestone. Whatever. I'm over it.
:'(



Okay so I've been thinking about this for quite a while lately. Not that I'm a generally depressing person, but I've had random bouts of, "I seriously want to kill myself" over the course of the past year or so that I quickly get over, then get back under in a few weeks. Of course, I'm like, "I don't have the courage to do that," and alas, I'm still here.
So as I've been walking the streets on my lonesome with my iPod blaring whatever 90s pop songs I resurrect, I think to myself, "What can I do to speed up this death process?"
Oh, I know! I'll put my iPod up even louder and hope that I get hit by a car! Or maybe I could just not put knives back where they belong, or stand to close to the edge of a mighty big fall, or piss off someone with a gun. Then surely it wouldn't be my fault and be written off as suicide, more like a construed 'wrong-place-wrong-time' kind of situation?

But who am I to control destiny? Is destiny even real? Perhaps, perhaps not. Perhaps philosophy time.
I don't necessarily want to kill myself, I mean I do think about it sometimes, cos on the whole, my lfie is pretty unimpressive and crapola. I don't want to be that kid that was labelled as a selfish attention seeker cos he talked about killing himself, then killed himself. I can't have people saying bad things about me when I'm dead.
So I'll change the course of my DD (death destiny, of course!), set up a system of ropes and pulleys and orchestrate my own demise to shift the blame on to someone or something else. That should clear my corpse's conscience.

What am I saying? I am never going to do that.

If I were talented, I'd write songs

Too bad I have next to no talent in the writing realm. Ever since I've been doing poetry in Literature, lyric-writing has crossed my mind, but to save myself the embarrassment, I shan't try.

Speaking of school stuff, I really should be doing a bunch of it right now, but - who cares? I know I won't be saying that come November when exams come around, and I'm very foolish for choosing to disregard it now. I've done nothing tonight but watch Family Guy, Pushing Daisies, 30 Rock, get fish and chips and Facebook. I did a half a page of my Media folio, too. Wow, when you stack the evening's events up together, you can tell my night really was wasted.

Now then, "Why does John need to write songs?" I hear you ask. Well, John is a self-involved little boy whose seldom-updated and backlotted online blog isn't enough self-indulgence and feels that music would help him convey his emotions to a minority of people who care and a majority who don't. I think that as I've matured I can analyze my feelings a little better and figure out what's happening around me more straightforward (there's those Lit classes working for me once more).
I think 'maturing' was a poor word to use there, since I'm just about to delve into the fact that I think I've changed and become less mature lately. I've become more crass, less sensitive, and all-round, more unpleasant. At least, that's how I'd view myself from a third-person standpoint. But why? Why have I changed my external personality so quickly? One word: fear. Much to my chagrin, I'll pull some valid comments from a philosophical text by... oh dear... I can't actually remember who. Anyway, they say that human beings act the way they do, relate with each other and create moral principles out of pure fear of one another. That's probably the reason I've changed myself, and once again, I don't know why I use words that aren't neccessary, like 'probably'. It's definitely the reason. At least, I guess, I'm not far off enough to not notice it (unlike some people I know). This probably (hell, this one's pretty close to 'definitely') sounds very pretentious of me to even bring up and sounds like I'm trying to better myself with intellectual benefit. Whatever, let's cast that aside. I've changed my personality because I'm afraid of the social aspect of teenage life. I'd bet everything I own that that's the same reason anybody else conforms to the values and principles that they were, at some point, against. My extra excuses and reasoning won't cut it, and, as much as I'd hate to face it, aren't fooling myself. For other teenagers in the same dilemma, I pray that they can take the blindfold off and see what they're really changing for.

Don't end a sentence on a preposition, John!

Oh well, horribly confusing rambling aside, let's get down to the good (and bad) stuff: LOST FINISHES NEXT WEEK. Yes, six years of my life that I've devoted to that show is finally coming to fruition. Only two more episodes (the first of which airs tomorrow) and then it's over. Forever. I'm going to be so sad, I think I'll have to take a day off school (thank GOD with the time difference from America it'll be a Tuesday. Oh, how I hate Tuesdays).

Au revior - until you read my blog again?

Australia Day 2010

Dare I say that the last 8 months of my life have been the most hectic of them all. It's been about that long since I posted an entry, so I'll quickly fill you in.

They FINALLY opened the Dick Smith in Frankston in late April. Since then we've changed management about four times. That's roughly the same amount of times something has happened to piss me off and I've wanted to quit. But since I'm getting good hours, the people there are nice and it's not a difficult job... I'll stick with it until school becomes too hard to balance. Shouldn't be too long now. Thankyou, year 12. ><

Speaking of school, year 11 has possibly been one of the best years, despite the work overload. It was balanced by the joy of going in to H Block every day. H Block has got to be my favourite place to go - I just love everyone there and the memories we make there will last a life time. I'm excited to see this new building they're replacing it with (since H is fair old), although knowing Bayside, it won't be built until after we've graduated.

Not just my surroundings have changed over the last 8 months, but I certainly have changed a heck of a lot too. I think 2009 was my rebellious year where I really changed into letting myself take more risks and trying new things. Some of which I'm not proud of, but I still don't regret. Mistakes are needed to mould you into who you become - as HIMYM states it, there are some mistakes you just have to make.
Another thing that changed me in 2009 is the realization of my sexuality, something I had been denying for two years. In the back of my head I always knew I was gay, but I pushed it away until I couldn't fight it anymore. About half-way through the year I said "ah screw it" and faced facts. By that point everyone pretty much knew anyway. By the way, this doesn't impede my faith at all. I still believe in God and to all those people that think that God disowns homosexuals... sorry, but I have to disagree. Pretty sure God loves everyone.

Just after my birthday I got into a relationship with an amazing guy. It was the best relationship I've ever been in. For anyone who knows me, you'd know that I don't fall for people easily, I never have. But this time something just clicked. Anyway, three months in, I get slapped with the "I'm not ready for this" speech and it's over. Words can't express the rejection I felt. Call it pessimistic or whatever, but it'll take me forever and a half to find anyone I am actually interested in again, if ever. I'm not conventional with my relationships (nor am I really conventional with anything) so finding someone that feels the same is very, very hard for me.
After three weeks, I'm about 90% over it, but there's still that part of me that is incredibly depressed and wants to die. But I'm an optimistic specimen - I know things will turn around for me. It's the 'when' that I'm unclear about.
And for the record, no, I don't think I'm a hopeless teenager with rampant hormones that solely control my brain. Emm jun hinm.

Getting to 2010 now, January has been pretty poor so far. NYE was okay, spending it with good mates at Emily's house, but there were certain things that made the night unenjoyable. In January I also got dumped and I've been spending most of the month anxious about school going back. Don't get me wrong, school is generally a fun place to be, it's mostly the subject chocie thing I'm worried about. It wasn't until yesterday (three days before school goes back) that I finally decided on my final subject. I'm not happy about it, but it'll have to do. The line-up is as follows: Literature, Media, Philosophy and Further Maths. Instead of Maths I was originally doing Psychology but I hated it during "roll-over" last year (the most wasteful two weeks of the year in which they attempt to kick-start students with no textbooks or preparation for year 12 by giving them 10 days of year 12 classes, feeding them information they will lose and/or forget by the time holidays are over) so I dropped it. Geez, I've changed subjects a lot over the past year, haven't I?

Anyway that's my life up until now. Now let's chat instead, talking to myself makes me feel ludacrous. :D Is that how you spell that?

I haven't written a blog in HOW LONG?

From the twenty-first of January to the fifth of April, blah blah, nostalgia, here's a quick recap, mostly for my benefit if I want to remember what I did in this time period at some point in the future. I'm just glad I keep a miniature diary with these events in them. Now, enjoy such events!

January 22
Saw the movie Role Models. It was retarded, but Elizabeth Banks is the greatest person alive.

January 25
As is one of Casey's annoying quirks, she invites herself to my house, even after I told her not to. What. A. Bitch. In the usual fashion of after-church dinnering, we decided to have BRINNER instead, an awesome idea of breakfast for dinner that we got off Scrubs.

January 26
Australia Day. After work, I rushed down to Mornington as quick as I could to see Liston. She neglected to realize that due to the parade down main street, the bus took an alternative route, and her directions to where to get off were pointless. At night I went bowling with Guida and Sarah. Hot damn.

January 27
Oh this was a fun day.

January 26
Australia Day. After work, I rushed down to Mornington as quick as I could to see Liston. She neglected to realize that due to the parade down main street, the bus took an alternative route, and her directions to where to get off were pointless. At night I went bowling with Guida and Sarah. Hot damn.

January 27
A 6:30am pick-up from Scott and we're off to Melbourne. Taking photos where we shouldn't, time lapses, what have you. Nicole joined us later. Twas rockin'. You can watch the time lapse video here on youtube.

January 28
First day of year 11. VCE welcomes me. I have about 6000 free periods a week. Went to Frankston with Kirk, Wes and Katherine afterwards.

February 1
After church, we went to Seaford beach and went "hammocking" as well with Alex, Evan and Miss Lay.

February 2-3
VCE study/intro camp at some place in Flinders. The woman who owns the place had the personality of a dialtone and had ridiculous hair. Bradley says she reminded him of a prison warden.

February 4
Since I finish school at 12:15 on Wednesdays, I have since gone to work at 2. But this day, I started at 2:30. I guess this 2 o'clock thing hasn't sunk in yet. Of course, drama began again at 7pm that night. I ahve no break on Wednesdays.

February 5
Quite possibly the best day of the year so far. The Kate Miller-Heidke concert had finally dawned. With me were Zac and Special K (Kate and Kirk). I bought an over-priced poster that has since refused to stick to my wall, and she signed it for me. Her songs were so different than what we were expecting them to be live. There's photos on my Facebook, and videos (which I took like 45 minutes of and cut it down to two 6-minute youtube clips) here and February 6
Youth group started back for the term. Aussie Night kicked off the long list of nationality-related themed nights. Alicia did us the courtesy of hosting.

February 8
After I did not want to go to church that night, Katherine, Erin and Miss Lay swung by my house anyway with, "John, get changed, get outside, Sarah Lay's waiting in the car." Ballam Park ahoy.

February 9
This marks the first day we had Vetamorphus peer group after school. Tis myself, Clare, Jake and Steph, led by Smackholer. Quite fun, and has occured every Monday since.

February 13
We had a Media excursion to ACMI. It was interesting, but also sorta boring. Italino Night at youth, hosted by Evan.

February 19
Yes, this week did involve work and VETA and drama and such, but meh. After school I bussed to Frankston with Liston and Zach, as we do often.

February 20
Mexican Night: Katie Hamiltone.

February 21
Marks the first time I worked the whole day shift at work. 8:30-5:30.

February 22
Sang at church that night.

February 23
School photo day! Was it seriously only in February? Oh well. The people who did it this year, were AWESOME. But in getting the pics back about a week ago, it's obvious the formation of people that they put us in was awful-lookin'.

February 25
Score! Finally get a close shift! Working 2-6 as of this Wednesday!

February 26
Again, Frankston with Liston and Zach.

February 27-March 1
VETA retreat weekend in Anglesea. Was a good weekend away, it was. Learned a lot about God and history of the Bible, and met so many new people. There's photos on my Facebook.
Oh, and I did communion at church Sunday night.

March 3
Ah, due to the text-messages about the fires that the coppers sent off the day before, we had today off school. Gnarly.

March 5
We sent Zach to go off to Frankston, and I instead kidnapped Liston (with Megan) this time, and brought them back to my place. Liston got addicted to playing Worms, it was awesome.

March 6-8
Insano Cafonkey Amazing Race Camp! AAAAH! The weekend with the youth down in Philip Island at the Jolly's ranch thing. It was so awesome. We had scavenger hunts and stuff to do around the Island, which were weird and fun, as is everything youth group. There's photos on my, you guessed it, Facebook. We went to Sarah Lay's/Mez Bickford's/Clare deGroot's place(s) after church for some chillaxin'.

March 9
Labour Day, which means no school and no VETA peer group this week. And, the band I was wearing around my wrist from the Kate MH show, which I had been wearing since and couldn't take off, even wearing it at work, broke and came off. I was so shattered. BUT, I beat Special K and Zac! :D

March 12
School swimming day, which I wanted to go on sorta, but then I didn't. Haw.

March 13
Instead of it being at the church, youth was at the Davey's, for New Zealand night.

March 14
After work (the first Saturday shift I was supposed to work since Feb 21, thankyou two camps in a row) I went to Bianca's house, which was a foolish mistake, cos I was ever so tired. We continued our lost marathon (from December...) and watched another 4 episodes. Success, we're 16 episodes in!

March 15
Did welcoming at church.

March 19
Went home from school at about 1ish, and being that it was a Thursday, I basically came for English, then four frees, then went home. I was so sick with an intense cold.

March 20
Had the day off school.

March 21
Had the day off work.

March 22
I actually went to the morning service at church. Cos we had a Kids Connection meeting afterwards, which means in term 2, I'm gonna have to be there doing kids ministry, IN THE MORNING, almost every Sunday. So not looking forward to it.
I sang at the night service, then we all went to Stacks Pancakes afterwards. Siq.
Between the morning and night service, I went to Frankston with Katherine and Mollie, which was essentially a bad idea as I was recovering from being sick and didn't go home from about 9am-10pm.

March 24
Being that I was behind in school work, and H block is easy to study in if there's no one in it, myself and Bianca stayed until about 4:30 doing work. Sweeeet.

March 26
As part of VETA, I have to get a "mentor" to meet with a couple times during the year. I chose Alex-o. We went and sat in McDonald's for like two hours before moving to a graveyard. Hmm.

March 27
I was sick and missed Tom's Scottish Night the week before, so this week at youth was Pirates vs. Ninjas, hosted by Smack and Zoe. It was so much fun actually. Was originally meant to be India, but nooo, Alex has a joooob.

March 28
Actually went to work that day. Amazing. That's 3/6 Saturday shifts I was meant to be working.

April 2
Ah, Thursdays. After English first-up, the next class I have is at 2:30, and the Easter service was on then. After staying to do some work that needed to be done at school, I went home. Kirk was smart and went home before 10. Haha.

April 3
LAST DAY OF TERM! Oh happy day, the tyranny of too much work and no more time is gone! For almost three weeks! And youth that night was the all-powerful Eurovision Song Contest, hosted by Alicia.

April 4
Yesterday. Now it's 4/7 Saturday shifts.


If you actually took the time to read my on-going saga of narcissism, I applaud thee. Now go outside.

Unexpected sunburn

Sarah, Tash, Zac and I decided to hit Frankston beach today. Sure it was hilariously fun, but with dire results. Here's a list of pros and cons:

• We dug a giant hole in the sand (about 1x2m big and like a metre deep)
• Got to catch up, woot
• Saw Katherine working at subway
• Had a half-conversation with a crazy woman at Subway
• Ate lots of ice-cream

Here are the cons:

• We all got really retarded unwanted sunburns, in bizzare places in patches, which I originally thought was a rash and thought nothing of it
• Sarah hates Kate Miller-Heidke
• I hate the beach.

Not many cons really, I just wanted to complain about this misleading red mark everywhere. It's all stingy and such! And yes, I really dislike the beach. It's wet and sandy and windy and uncomfortable and really not worth it. Find a swimming pool damn it, forget the ocean.

This woman in Subway... she was ahead of us in line, being served by Robert (see: Katherine's epic blog) as her child was getting a sub made. When asked what cheese she wanted, the girl said swiss or something and the mum corrected her, "no, she'll get cheddar." Then the girl complained that she wanted three cookies. "No, you're getting two." "But I want three." "Two." "three!" Then the woman screamed, disrupting us all, "TWO!" which we found hilarious.

Then we had sat down, and Tash was casually discussing the prevelance of peanuts in food giving allergies. Zac had said something about the name of peanuts as opposed to regular nuts, I dunno, I wasn't really listening. Then we all just heard this, "BULLSHIT!" coming from elsewhere - it was that woman chiming in on the conversation. She was butting in about "she's right" and "you don't know what to say now, do ya!" to Zac, but was totally treating it like an argument rather than an enquiry about peanuts, and made it out like her BULLSHIT addition actually made a difference and was a valid point of argument. Naturally, we found all this hilarious and kept quoting her the rest of the day.

On a completely different topic, I bought a ticket for Kate Miller-Heidke yesterday. She's playing at the Zoo on the 5th of Feb. Anyone that wants to come with, feel free. I'm trying to get Scott and Zac to come, and Special K (the collective name for Kirk and Kate) are coming too. It shall be rather exciting!

Farewell.

What could make this situation better? Oh, I know! The Holocaust!

The book for English I have to read before school goes back is titled "Night", by Elie Wiesel. It's the author's auto-biography cleverly wrapped in fiction, sort of - it's his survival tale of The Holocaust in novel form. Sure, it's boring and depressing. But reading it sure beats staring at metrosexuals on the train.

I'm only thirty pages in, and it hasn't gotten exciting at all. It's gonna be Generals Die In Bed all over again, the book we studied at the end of last year about life in WWI. In fact, the writing style is basically the same. So far, it's been jumping to plot points so quickly by using misguided, 5-word sentences. "Dad said we have to move. The next morning, we all got up and moved to the ghetto." What the hell is that?! Being that the book is about such a dramatic event, I was expecting something a little more thrilling. I hate reading, I really do. English class has ruined books for me.

I am really the laziest person I know...

I blame glandular fever.
Oh yeah, I'd probably better get diagnosed with it first.
I reckon I have it though.
Hypochondriaaac!

Anyway I haven't been on Blogger in almost a month. What have I been up to...

Well, I've become quite addicted to Facebook as of late. I'm actually on it more than MySpace now. It's like a mature MySpace for older people. I love it.

Oh, did I mention we got a cat? We got a cat. His name is Jax, and he's cute and cuddly and annoying at times. Just like kittens are.

I've been working at southland still. only yesterday did we get the word that the store is confirmed for the first week of March. How incredibly annoying! But I'm liking work. It'd be 99% awesome if I didn't have to travel so much for it.

Katherine and I decided to host a New Years party in her backyard with as many youth group people as possible. Besides us, we had 9 guests. It was awesome-town. I brought my computer to use as a jukebox. At like 11:45, the word was, "Let's go to the beach!", rendering the entire party moot.

I got accepted (like there was a test) into Vetamorphus; a Christian bible-study peer-group one-year VCE VET course. Enough adjectives? I thought so.
The first major retreat is at the end of February. Quite good. School starts back on the 28th of Jan. Now I'm wondering, when are we gonna have peer groups?

Speaking of peer-group leaders, my future one, Miss Sarah Mason, got married to one maths teacher Andrew Backholer last week. It was a beautiful occasion, and basically a Bayside reunion. Success for marriage!

Besides the happiness, I'm in a fairly crap mood right now. Thanks for not noticing. Well, I tried to avoid it.

Have a good... season!

200 Lessons

Yesterday was the much-coveted Helen O' Grady Drama Academy senior youth theatre for the Morno Peninsula... production. It was your typical HelenO play, except this one didn't have group lines (because we changed it). Held at Cube 37, and really, really short, it was lame but exhilirating. It was titled 'The Legend of Tim Sandy' and I got a 200 lessons plaque (5 years)!

Thanks to loveable contractors, the opening date of Dick Smith Frankston has been pushed back again. Last I heard, the store was being fitted on the 18th of January. Now I'm hearing that won't let the place actually be open until the end of Jan/start of Feb. Brilliant. Just when I'm starting VCE and going on VCE camp.

But at the moment I'm working Wednesday and Thursday afternoons in DSE Southland, so come visit!

Adios.

Just a lil' taste of VCE

You know how some schools have "rollover"? I hate that. We had one day of VCE today, like an orientation to all of our classes.

My classes for next year are as follows:

• English
• Maths Methods
• HHD (3 and 4, so there was no orientation)
• IT
• Media
• VETamorphus (no orientation)

So 4 subjects in 7 blocks gives me ample free periods :D OH, AND FREE PIZZA AT LUNCH TIME.

English
Well, English seems hard. A book to read over the holidays (please, just an assignment-free holiday? PLEASE?!) and complicated outcomes. Please, no. And I hope I got Rietveld instead of Creek as my teacher... ugh.

IT
Scott very much ruined IT for me by telling me I'll "have fun" and that "Dr Hopkins talks too slow". Which he does. I won't have fun at all! There's 9 people in that class, and one of which is a girl, 5 of which are year nines (10s for next year). Oh boy.

Maths Methods
Only Tom and myself are Methods people who did General this year, something Walker was not pleased about. He thinks we won't cope in Methods without doing it in year 10. He's probably right, but we told him that we chose to do General, but Curtis-Morris suggested we do Methods because we're both in IT. I bet we'll swap out of it at some point next year.

Media
I've gotta say, I'm really excited about Media. Mrs Rivera, I've never had her, but I will now. The class is fairly big, 17 people next year, compared to like 10 or so that were in it this year. Everyone has different skills in different areas of media too, so group work will be perfeeect.

Tomorrow is free dress day because of presentation night that night (I'm so not going in lieu of drama) and Thursday is a pointless excursion to Queen Vic for HHD and Food Tech people. Then Friday is a 9/10 break-up at AMF and then the year is over! Success!

My life is taking its toll on me

It's amazing. I'm only 16 and yet I have such a hectic life.

I got a job at Dick Smith. But until it opens in Frankston I have to get to Southland constantly for training. Now whenever anyone mentions Southland to me, I die a little inside.
I've got exams this week. I arranged for it to be two days instead of three because I have to work on Friday. >.<. In Hawthorn at the regional office.

It's so bizarre I think. I'm always on my phone now. Kirk pointed out that I even answer my calls in class, which are often from work now.

I half-cause a shoplifting last week on my first face shift. I put down a laptop behind me for like 15minute holding for a couple that had already bought it. I put it down there like their salesman told me to. Then we couldn't find it. Like an hour later we discovered it had been stolen less than 10 seconds after I put it on the ground. Some dude just reached over the counter and took it, and there were three of us there. How weird is that! The thing is, I got a call from the assistant manager last week (oddly enough during school) telling me not to worry about it and was just looking out for me. But according to a text message I got telling me I had a missed call from her (even though I didn't get one), and I'm just anxious that it might be to fire me. Eugh. I'm really not having a good couple of weeks.

My only solace is that after Friday I basically have not-- wait, that's such a lie.
I've still got more training at some point in Southland before the store opens on the 8th.
And my drama play is about a week after that, something we're all completely underprepared for.

Can't this year be over NOW?

101 reasons not to have an iPhone

I know that the iPhone has been out in Australia for a little while, and it's got an aurora-esque hype built around it simply because it's an Apple product. Well, I looove Apple computers and such because they kick ass compared to PCs (mainly in the won't-kamikaze-for-no-reason category) but bringing out this new, pointless phone crosses the line into "unneccesary product excitement".

Have you noticed how caveman the iPhone is in comparison to other recent phones? The iPhone is advertised as being an iPod, a phone, and an internet communications device, ALL IN ONE. That's right, an internet communications device. Not only is that a fancy way of saying "it has GPRS, just like every other mobile", but it plugs it as an iPod too - a word that doesn't even exist. There's no such thing as an iPod! It's just an mp3 player that happens to have the marketed Apple logo branded on the back of it like cattle in a barnyard! There is no justification as to why the iPod excels over other mp3 players. So what, it stores songs. It doesn't even store the most amount of songs from any mp3 player (you know, like a memory-card-changeable mp3?). When you get an iPod or an iPhone, your allotted usage is fixed for life.

Still on the basis of the iPhone not doing things pretty much every other phone can, the iPhone can't perform the simplest task but covers up for it by acquiring something else. For example, the iPhone can't send MMS messages, but never fear! It still has a touch screen (oh great, some smudgy piece of thumbprint town)! I don't get the hype about touch screens. It's just gonna get destroyed within a day anyway.

Here's another list of things the iPhone continues to fail in: smaller resolution than other phones; can't record video; can't customize ringtones; no third-party applications allowed; can't voice dial; can't record audio; can't instant message; and it can't even be recharged when the battery completely dies, instead, Apple gets to take care of that for you by you sending your iPhone to them for fixing. How useless.

To top it off, you get all these arbitrary, highly common functions in a compacted Apple product for 5 times the price of a phone that could do all this itself. I bet if the iPhone was human, it'd be pompous and pretentious.

Don't get an iPhone. I know I won't.

An incredible eight-foot heap!

Sorry. Listening to Len.

It's been a while since I've posted a blog. I kind of planned on doing one in October, but couldn't be bothered. Now it's the FIRST of November. What are the odds?!

If you missed the epic LAN party, you are a shameful human being. Scott, Andrew and I organized a LAN party in my church's hall - an incredible two days of food gorging, prize winning, player-beating and fire starting. Oops! Did I say fire starting?
Anywho, for the whole of the two days, I set up my camera (yes, I got an uber 8.1mp camera for my birthday, which was the 2nd, and the lan was the 3rd-4th) to take a photo of the room every 30 seconds. Dare I say, mission accomplished; except when my camera died and needed charging. Here's a video link of what the time lapse ended up looking like:



It was my sixteenth birthday on October 2nd. :D I had such an incredibly hectic day. Let me see if I can remember everything I did...
Had to be in Southland at 9am for a 2nd interview for Dick Smith (not the Southland one, the new one in Frankston) and I brought Katherine with me, something she was not happy with, having to get up so early. :D Buahaha.
Then, I went for my Learner's test at about 1:30 that day. Totally passed by one question I believe. But for some reason, I needed a doctor's certificate because I'm on medication before I could get my actual licence; something I didn't get t do till the following Tuesday, when I then got my L's, but came back the day after because the girl didn't give me the log book. Goth, don't you just hate VicRoads?
Continuing on my birthday day, I donated blood that afternoon at about four. Dare I say, that was the funnest experience I'd had in a while. I highly reccommend it. I got a blood donor card back a few days ago, where I found out my blood type is A-Pos. Same as Casey! Woohoo!
Then that night I went out for dinner with the family, and then had to be in bed early so I could get up at 5 and go to the LAN party early the next day.

Phew. Speaking of things involving Andrew and Scott, they roped me into joining them on the recent Science astronomy assignment, where we filmed an 8-minute movie over 2 days about the sun (another occasion involving a time lapse that my camera did). Here's another YouTube link to my time lapse:



Quickly, last week I sang at church for the first time. Something Mason got me into doing after hearing me sing at the school's music night. :D it was exhilirating.

Ah. Sorry about the really long blog.
Adios!

11 Hours of Katherine

Okay, so the term ended on Friday. To commemorate, Katherine, Mollie and I began an old tradition of going to the city constantly for no reason!

Sunday morning, I met Mollie at the station at 10. Then we caught the train towards the city and Katherine got on at Seaford. Once we got to Flinders Street, we took a leisurely walk along the Yarra and found the Melbourne version of "the place". If your name is Zoe you'll probably get that.

Anyway, I was sorta hungry, so by around noon we were at Southbank but didn't eat anything because I'm a cheapskate. Sooo we walked out of Southbank, back to the Yarra and Katherine reeeeally wanted to go through the market, although it was teriffically boring. After escaping the packedness that was the Yarra market, we could've either turned around for 10 metres and crossed over the bridge above us over the river but for some reason kept walking and got to the ferris wheel on the other side (that was pretty much adjacent to the previous bridge) like 15 minutes later. Snore.

Funny story: on the ferris wheel (that Mollie paid for, thanks!) Mollie decided we should rock it, so her and Katherine in particular kept rocking it around as I talked to the people behind us as often as possible and Vega played on the speaker in the gondola. Vega was soon interrupted with the control man's voice telling us to stop shaking the thingy. o.O Oops.

So we passed by Federation Square and texted various jumping-related and Helga-related messages to the wall, NONE OF WHICH EVER CAME UP. How stingy is that? So we went and got Subway (well katherine did) then we got the city circle to the Docklands park.

I really don't think there's any better park. Mollie was dead or tired or something so Katherine and I had fun and took pictures on those big metallic circles. Afterwards we went to the State Library and had some learning fun!

So it's about 3:30 now and we caught the train back to Frankston from Melb Central and got there at about 10 to 5, though it was packed with Melb Show scum people. After stalling for half an hour and having Mollie go home, katherine and I decided to walk to church.

We were rostered on welcoming so we stood at the door saying hello to people. Kirk and Kate eventually showed up (they are totally going out) and Katherine and I persuaded as many people as possible to come to La Porchetta's with us afterwards. Eventually, Kirk, Kate, Alex, Evan, Katie, Zac and Dave Bailey came with us and we had lots of pizza and funtime. :)

So at 9 the PCC church group also showed up which was really obscure as most of them are from Bayside. Now there isn't much of a story after this, so we all went home and I spent 11 hours with Katherine yesterday, not a minute of it at each other's houses. :D

Aloha.

Aida

Woo! Last night, Katherine and I went to see John Paul College's final show of Aida. It's somewthing written by Elton John I think about Egyptian love affairs. I knew like six people in it so it was pretty awesome. :D

Katherine and I were at my place then Brittany's dad came and picked us up. We went inside eventually, and Charlee and Miki were in it at the start, and about everywhere else as dancers. It was intense! Haha. Afterwards, Miki was crying so much it became really awkward.

I want my school to do Aida!

Baby Alicia

Baby Alicia. She's tough, she's loud, she's new. She's plastic.
Her name is actually Grace Faith Bayside, but I hate it, and already told Alicia Backholer I'd name it after her.

Yeeeep, a few days ago I had the renowned Health and Human Development baby to take care of. This year the school got a new state-of-the-art model, 2008, full pro. I had it on Monday and Tuesday, until Wednesday morning. 48 hours of epic fake baby.

Gone are the days of the key-in-the-back-to-make-it-shaddap thing, we got a waterproof wristband this time that you have to sensor to the baby so it recognizes you as the parent. I got 96% of good care over the two days - missed a feeding, a diaper change, roughly handled it and let its head drop back. Oops.

Dare I say, that one of those weren't my fault? The missed feeding happened on Tuesday during Maths when it cried and wouldn't shut up, so Clare and I took it outside because my wristband wasn't working. When it's recognized, it makes a chiming noise, and the chime didn't take, so I didn't know what the hell was going on. Also, I think the diaper change may not've been my fault MAYBE. Because on Wednesday morning I managed to chime it, but it was still crying, and nothing worked, but I think I may've been half asleep and tried changing it and putting the same nappy back on. Oops.

The simulation was supposed to start at 9, but after Fiona had it on the weekend, it charged for two hours and it started at 11am on Monday. It didn't make a peep till 12:30 and Mrs. Cooper kept poking her head in and telling me off for not holding it properly. Haha! Oh well!

I eventually figured out what cry means what, as you do, and that after lots of feeding/changing, which is almost ALL it does, it'll be silent for a few hours and go to sleep. It made really weird breathing noises every 8 seconds. On Monday night, it only woke me up once, at four, which I think was really peculiar. It was silent for 5 hours.

Tuesday night was a bit different, it woke me up 4 times and cried 10 times during that block, but I didn't really mind. It's just annoying when you're in the shower and have to turn it off to feed it for 20 minutes, naked. Judging by the hours of silence thing I mentioned, I figured it'd do that again when I showered Wednesday morning, so I showered at 4:30 again. I agree with Casey - you eventually just give up on sleep.

DO. HEALTH. AND. HUMAN. DEVELOPMENT.
IT IS SO MUCH FUN.
^____^