101 reasons not to have an iPhone

I know that the iPhone has been out in Australia for a little while, and it's got an aurora-esque hype built around it simply because it's an Apple product. Well, I looove Apple computers and such because they kick ass compared to PCs (mainly in the won't-kamikaze-for-no-reason category) but bringing out this new, pointless phone crosses the line into "unneccesary product excitement".

Have you noticed how caveman the iPhone is in comparison to other recent phones? The iPhone is advertised as being an iPod, a phone, and an internet communications device, ALL IN ONE. That's right, an internet communications device. Not only is that a fancy way of saying "it has GPRS, just like every other mobile", but it plugs it as an iPod too - a word that doesn't even exist. There's no such thing as an iPod! It's just an mp3 player that happens to have the marketed Apple logo branded on the back of it like cattle in a barnyard! There is no justification as to why the iPod excels over other mp3 players. So what, it stores songs. It doesn't even store the most amount of songs from any mp3 player (you know, like a memory-card-changeable mp3?). When you get an iPod or an iPhone, your allotted usage is fixed for life.

Still on the basis of the iPhone not doing things pretty much every other phone can, the iPhone can't perform the simplest task but covers up for it by acquiring something else. For example, the iPhone can't send MMS messages, but never fear! It still has a touch screen (oh great, some smudgy piece of thumbprint town)! I don't get the hype about touch screens. It's just gonna get destroyed within a day anyway.

Here's another list of things the iPhone continues to fail in: smaller resolution than other phones; can't record video; can't customize ringtones; no third-party applications allowed; can't voice dial; can't record audio; can't instant message; and it can't even be recharged when the battery completely dies, instead, Apple gets to take care of that for you by you sending your iPhone to them for fixing. How useless.

To top it off, you get all these arbitrary, highly common functions in a compacted Apple product for 5 times the price of a phone that could do all this itself. I bet if the iPhone was human, it'd be pompous and pretentious.

Don't get an iPhone. I know I won't.