Last Minute

Why do I keep listening to Kylie Minogue classics this afternoon? I've got Fever written all over me.

I've noticed an alarming trend surrounding me lately. Everybody who is similarly-aged to myself is suddenly snapping into preparation mode: everyone's got 2011 figured out except me. I mean, what the hell am I going to do once I finish year twelve? My guess is sitting around watching Sabrina DVDs and working at Dick Smith until suicide knocks on my door. I mean, ideally, that would be my final choice, but considering I don't really have any plans, I can see that hypothetical scenario becoming a firm and steady reality.

Career? Not a clue. House? Need funds. Employment? We'll see.
I'm going to be eighteen in just over two months now, which frightens me a tad. But of course, I'm also very excited for the new opportunities that arise. I don't like the idea of sorting out my entire future before I'm eighteen. I could manage to get away with it, ALMOST, but VTAC applications close two days before my birthday. Perfect.

For months now I've been kinda hoping that an exciting career possibility will just jump out at me when I'm not really searching for one. That way I'll know it's actually something I'm pumped for, rather than just looking through job guides, saying "that'll do" to myself and applying because I have nothing better. If I'm not taking a course in something that genuinely excites me, then what is the point of doing it? I should probably start listening to others' advice, as I've been constantly hearing "it doesn't work like that" - I'll believe that when I see it. But it'll totally be too late by then. I'm a very last minute sort of person.

Australia Day 2010

Dare I say that the last 8 months of my life have been the most hectic of them all. It's been about that long since I posted an entry, so I'll quickly fill you in.

They FINALLY opened the Dick Smith in Frankston in late April. Since then we've changed management about four times. That's roughly the same amount of times something has happened to piss me off and I've wanted to quit. But since I'm getting good hours, the people there are nice and it's not a difficult job... I'll stick with it until school becomes too hard to balance. Shouldn't be too long now. Thankyou, year 12. ><

Speaking of school, year 11 has possibly been one of the best years, despite the work overload. It was balanced by the joy of going in to H Block every day. H Block has got to be my favourite place to go - I just love everyone there and the memories we make there will last a life time. I'm excited to see this new building they're replacing it with (since H is fair old), although knowing Bayside, it won't be built until after we've graduated.

Not just my surroundings have changed over the last 8 months, but I certainly have changed a heck of a lot too. I think 2009 was my rebellious year where I really changed into letting myself take more risks and trying new things. Some of which I'm not proud of, but I still don't regret. Mistakes are needed to mould you into who you become - as HIMYM states it, there are some mistakes you just have to make.
Another thing that changed me in 2009 is the realization of my sexuality, something I had been denying for two years. In the back of my head I always knew I was gay, but I pushed it away until I couldn't fight it anymore. About half-way through the year I said "ah screw it" and faced facts. By that point everyone pretty much knew anyway. By the way, this doesn't impede my faith at all. I still believe in God and to all those people that think that God disowns homosexuals... sorry, but I have to disagree. Pretty sure God loves everyone.

Just after my birthday I got into a relationship with an amazing guy. It was the best relationship I've ever been in. For anyone who knows me, you'd know that I don't fall for people easily, I never have. But this time something just clicked. Anyway, three months in, I get slapped with the "I'm not ready for this" speech and it's over. Words can't express the rejection I felt. Call it pessimistic or whatever, but it'll take me forever and a half to find anyone I am actually interested in again, if ever. I'm not conventional with my relationships (nor am I really conventional with anything) so finding someone that feels the same is very, very hard for me.
After three weeks, I'm about 90% over it, but there's still that part of me that is incredibly depressed and wants to die. But I'm an optimistic specimen - I know things will turn around for me. It's the 'when' that I'm unclear about.
And for the record, no, I don't think I'm a hopeless teenager with rampant hormones that solely control my brain. Emm jun hinm.

Getting to 2010 now, January has been pretty poor so far. NYE was okay, spending it with good mates at Emily's house, but there were certain things that made the night unenjoyable. In January I also got dumped and I've been spending most of the month anxious about school going back. Don't get me wrong, school is generally a fun place to be, it's mostly the subject chocie thing I'm worried about. It wasn't until yesterday (three days before school goes back) that I finally decided on my final subject. I'm not happy about it, but it'll have to do. The line-up is as follows: Literature, Media, Philosophy and Further Maths. Instead of Maths I was originally doing Psychology but I hated it during "roll-over" last year (the most wasteful two weeks of the year in which they attempt to kick-start students with no textbooks or preparation for year 12 by giving them 10 days of year 12 classes, feeding them information they will lose and/or forget by the time holidays are over) so I dropped it. Geez, I've changed subjects a lot over the past year, haven't I?

Anyway that's my life up until now. Now let's chat instead, talking to myself makes me feel ludacrous. :D Is that how you spell that?

I am really the laziest person I know...

I blame glandular fever.
Oh yeah, I'd probably better get diagnosed with it first.
I reckon I have it though.
Hypochondriaaac!

Anyway I haven't been on Blogger in almost a month. What have I been up to...

Well, I've become quite addicted to Facebook as of late. I'm actually on it more than MySpace now. It's like a mature MySpace for older people. I love it.

Oh, did I mention we got a cat? We got a cat. His name is Jax, and he's cute and cuddly and annoying at times. Just like kittens are.

I've been working at southland still. only yesterday did we get the word that the store is confirmed for the first week of March. How incredibly annoying! But I'm liking work. It'd be 99% awesome if I didn't have to travel so much for it.

Katherine and I decided to host a New Years party in her backyard with as many youth group people as possible. Besides us, we had 9 guests. It was awesome-town. I brought my computer to use as a jukebox. At like 11:45, the word was, "Let's go to the beach!", rendering the entire party moot.

I got accepted (like there was a test) into Vetamorphus; a Christian bible-study peer-group one-year VCE VET course. Enough adjectives? I thought so.
The first major retreat is at the end of February. Quite good. School starts back on the 28th of Jan. Now I'm wondering, when are we gonna have peer groups?

Speaking of peer-group leaders, my future one, Miss Sarah Mason, got married to one maths teacher Andrew Backholer last week. It was a beautiful occasion, and basically a Bayside reunion. Success for marriage!

Besides the happiness, I'm in a fairly crap mood right now. Thanks for not noticing. Well, I tried to avoid it.

Have a good... season!

200 Lessons

Yesterday was the much-coveted Helen O' Grady Drama Academy senior youth theatre for the Morno Peninsula... production. It was your typical HelenO play, except this one didn't have group lines (because we changed it). Held at Cube 37, and really, really short, it was lame but exhilirating. It was titled 'The Legend of Tim Sandy' and I got a 200 lessons plaque (5 years)!

Thanks to loveable contractors, the opening date of Dick Smith Frankston has been pushed back again. Last I heard, the store was being fitted on the 18th of January. Now I'm hearing that won't let the place actually be open until the end of Jan/start of Feb. Brilliant. Just when I'm starting VCE and going on VCE camp.

But at the moment I'm working Wednesday and Thursday afternoons in DSE Southland, so come visit!

Adios.

My life is taking its toll on me

It's amazing. I'm only 16 and yet I have such a hectic life.

I got a job at Dick Smith. But until it opens in Frankston I have to get to Southland constantly for training. Now whenever anyone mentions Southland to me, I die a little inside.
I've got exams this week. I arranged for it to be two days instead of three because I have to work on Friday. >.<. In Hawthorn at the regional office.

It's so bizarre I think. I'm always on my phone now. Kirk pointed out that I even answer my calls in class, which are often from work now.

I half-cause a shoplifting last week on my first face shift. I put down a laptop behind me for like 15minute holding for a couple that had already bought it. I put it down there like their salesman told me to. Then we couldn't find it. Like an hour later we discovered it had been stolen less than 10 seconds after I put it on the ground. Some dude just reached over the counter and took it, and there were three of us there. How weird is that! The thing is, I got a call from the assistant manager last week (oddly enough during school) telling me not to worry about it and was just looking out for me. But according to a text message I got telling me I had a missed call from her (even though I didn't get one), and I'm just anxious that it might be to fire me. Eugh. I'm really not having a good couple of weeks.

My only solace is that after Friday I basically have not-- wait, that's such a lie.
I've still got more training at some point in Southland before the store opens on the 8th.
And my drama play is about a week after that, something we're all completely underprepared for.

Can't this year be over NOW?